My gratitude runs strong.
Many years back, I was given a gift from my dear friend. We were out to dinner for a special occasion, and she handed me a bag, with tissue paper emerging from the sides. I put down my glass of wine, as she directed me to open it. I slowly unraveled tissue, and noticed a beautiful gift inside. We took a few more sips of Sauvignon blanc, and she said to open it up fully, and that is when I noticed the gift was missing parts, and the bottle of oils was half full. I don't think she knew it was a less than a whole gift, and I made no point to tell her.
However, I was deeply hurt. Not because it was a used gift, but because I assumed there was no real care put into the giving piece. Even as I opened it in front of her, and noticed all of this, I gave her a hug and thanked her. We all know, it is never about the gift, but the thought that counts. So, I chose to see this as a fleeting experience. But the more I reflected and meditated, I the more bothered I was.
I could not shake what I was feeling, and it was hard to put into words, the energy that was rising within. So I cried.
I cried for not understanding.
I cried for feeling judgmental.
I cried for feeling like I give more than I receive.
I cried for holding back words that I wanted to say.
And then it hit me, and I cried for the shift in our friendship. Our "friend-shift".
There was nothing wrong with her, or me. It was a natural occurrence that was happening. I had changed, so had she. We had been on a downward slope of misunderstanding for sometime now. We were in different places, and what we once had in common, was no longer there, so we floundered trying to keep the relationship alive.
The gift I had received was just a metaphor for what was happening to our relationship; it was missing pieces, and almost empty.
When I was able to see this, I got clear. I did not have to mourn the friendship, but instead, began to observe it shifting. I allowed myself to witness the subtle, and obvious, changes that happened every day. I know she was in my life, and I in hers, for a reason. Unfortunately, the season of our time together had come to an end.
I bless the friendship... and the "friend-shift".
I love her for the memories, and the lessons experienced together. I made room for more beautiful people to enter my life. And who knows, the universe may put her in front of me again; in the distant future, or tomorrow, to learn and grow even more. And I will greet her with open arms.
My gratitude runs strong.